


Unfamiliar Constellations

by brinnanza



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04e16 Trio, F/F, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:29:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2212392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brinnanza/pseuds/brinnanza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then again, maybe she was overthinking things. It was a bad habit, particularly where interpersonal relationships were concerned. “Sure,” she said finally, her excuses melting away under the sudden intense desire for companionship. “A drink sounds nice."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfamiliar Constellations

**Author's Note:**

> It should be mentioned that this fic requires that the deleted scene from Be All My Sins Remember'd with Cauldwell and Sam _did_ happen and the deleted scene where Sam admits to Jennifer that she's sort of seeing someone back on Earth did _not_.

Sam was in her office pondering her mission report, which had not gotten easier to write despite over a decade of experience doing just that, when there was a quiet rap of knuckles on the door. She looked up to find Jennifer Keller hovering somewhat nervously in the doorway.

“Oh, Doctor Keller. Hi there,” said Sam, aiming for cheerful. She wasn’t sure she felt cheerful what with the broken leg, minor rope burn on her palms, and actual burns on her forearms, but she made the effort. “What can I do for you?”

“Please, Jennifer,” the other woman corrected with a smile and a wave of her hand. “I, um, just wanted to--” she paused and blushed, unsure, then continued, “You were really great today, with the rope and the fire. So--thanks, I guess.” Her blush deepened.

“Oh,” said Sam, a little taken aback. “Sure. I guess I’ve just had a lot of practice.” She shrugged. She’d been in worse scrapes by far--worse scrapes just this year, when she thought about it. She supposed broken bones and mortal peril were pretty much par for the course at this point. But of course Jennifer hadn’t been doing this for nearly so long. 

Jennifer ducked her head for a moment, looking hesitant, then took a deep breath and lifted her chin. “Anyway, I thought if maybe you weren’t too busy…” She drew a hand from behind her back and held up a plastic-ringed six pack of cans. There were two missing. “You might like to have a drink with me? Since you didn’t solve the bar trick either.” 

She looked so earnest, bashful and young, far too young for so much responsibility. But Sam supposed she wasn’t too much younger than Sam had been when she’d started. Her first instinct was to decline, appeal to chain of command and work and necessary distance. “I thought you and McKay were…” She trailed off, leaving it unsaid.

Jennifer shrugged, cheeks still very pink. “We were,” she admitted, “but he fell asleep halfway through the first beer. And I’m too keyed up to sleep, and I thought you’d probably still be up, so…” She wiggled the cans and gave Sam a hopeful smile.

Sam glanced down at the report-in-progress on her laptop. She really should finish it and then maybe get some sleep. But she definitely understood the feeling of residual adrenaline after a mission, was feeling a bit of it herself actually, and what good was being the boss if you couldn’t occasionally delay your own tasks? She wavered.

Jennifer caught her hesitation and said, “It’s okay if you say no. I’m sure you’re probably busy and it is pretty late. I just thought I’d see, y’know?”

Cauldwell had been right, Sam thought suddenly, his words on her mind for some reason. It was lonely at the top. She missed the easy camaraderie of of team she wasn’t in charge of, missed _her_ team. Life with SG1 had been so much work and mortal peril and so very little down time--mostly by her own decision of course. But what was that old adage--if you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life?

Sam loved her job, her colleagues, her little grey lab at the SGC, off world missions to other planets that looked just like Vancouver. She had loved her time on Atlantis too--who wouldn’t love living in this beautiful old city?--but there were days, more days here on Atlantis than there ever had been in the Milky Way, that just felt like _work_. 

The burden of command, she supposed. She certainly understood Jack’s numerous attempts to retire by this point. 

Then again, maybe she was overthinking things. It was a bad habit, particularly where interpersonal relationships were concerned. “Sure,” she said finally, her excuses melting away under the sudden intense desire for companionship. “A drink sounds nice.”

 

They took the transporter to the balcony off of the mess hall. Jennifer dragged a couple of chairs out from under the overhang and they sat side by side, sipping beer and looking up at the stars and city lights in silence.

Sam had spent a lot of time looking at a lot of stars during her years at the SGC, and no matter where she was, they always amazed her. She’d memorized star charts for dozens of different worlds, plotted the similarities, picked out common constellations. But these were different stars, different constellations in a whole different galaxy. 

She had spoken to several members of the original expedition, people who’d been on Atlantis from the beginning, and the way they talked about these stars was with something akin to rapture. This city, this galaxy, had become home for them, the way Earth might never be again.

But these weren’t Sam’s stars. Sam’s stars were a familiar pattern shining over a cold Minnesota pond that had no fish.

She felt Jennifer stir beside her, and she looked over to see the other woman studying her over her beer can. Her hair was down loose around her shoulders, and it made for a very pretty picture.

“They’re nice,” said Jennifer wistfully, as if reading her mind, “but they’re not home, y’know?”

Oh, did Sam know. She gave Jennifer a half smile and snagged a second beer, popping the top. “I’ve spent too long studying the Milky Way’s stars to feel at home anywhere else.”

“I never spent much time studying, but I did spend a lot of time looking,” said Jennifer. Her head fell back against her chair, and she looked back up at the sky. She drew her knees up to her chest and fiddled with the bandages covering her hands then continued, “I grew up kind of in the middle of nowhere, so there wasn’t much else to do sometimes. Never thought I’d end up out in ‘em though.”

“I did,” Sam confessed. She’d only had the one beer, but she drank so infrequently these days that even that small amount was loosening her tongue and making her chatty. “Hoped, anyway,” she corrected. “I wanted to be an astronaut, ever since I was little.”

“Oh yeah?” Jennifer said. She turned her head to face Sam, her cheek resting on the back of the chair. “I wanted to be a ballerina when I was a kid.” She frowned and took a long draught of her beer, the last one. “But I was so young when I went to college, so I became a doctor instead.”

“You ever wish you’d been a ballerina?”

“Nah.” Jennifer made a sweeping gesture out toward the city. “Ballerinas don’t get to see stuff like this. It’s scary sometimes, out here with the Wraith and the Replicators, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

Sam agreed with that wholeheartedly. She missed Earth and her team, fiercely and acutely sometimes, but she had to admit Atlantis was beautiful, lit up against the inky black ocean, strange stars over head. Daniel might have felt at home here--she suspected Earth hadn’t been home for him in a long time, not since Sha’re.

She took a long drink of her beer, then set the can on the ground underneath her chair. When she came back up, Jennifer was watching her again, something unreadable on her face.

Sam had never put much thought into things like sexual orientation. She dated men because the military made it difficult not to and because that’s who she generally found herself attracted to. It didn’t preclude the potential for being attracted to women. She met Jennifer’s eyes and was surprised to see them full of want. Maybe not that surprised, given the invitation and somewhat secluded locale (for the hour anyway) and how nervous Jennifer had been, but still. Sam was usually surprised when people desired her. Not because of a lack of self esteem or anything, it just didn’t occur to her.

Jennifer looked so lovely, illuminated by the city and the stars, and Sam felt a wave of loneliness so intense that she reached out and touched Jennifer’s face. Jennifer turned into the hand, covered it with her own, and brushed her lips across Sam’s palm, drawing out a shiver.

“Jennifer,” she began, her voice breaking in the middle. Jennifer trailed her fingers from Sam’s hand down her arm and lightly across the inside of her elbow, and she lost the ability to speak. She swallowed hard and tried again. “Jenn…”

Jennifer ran her fingers up Sam’s arm and shoulder, paused briefly at her cheek, and then brushed some hair off of her forehead. Her fingers were so soft, and Sam found herself leaning into them. Jennifer’s eyes were very bright, and she leaned forward.

Sam closed her eyes, and Jennifer kissed her very softly on the mouth.

There were a million reasons to stop, to push Jennifer away and leave now--there was chain of command and duty and professional distance, US uniform codes and a working relationship…

And Jack.

But Jack wasn’t here, and neither were the Uniform Codes. It was all so far away, and Sam was so tired of sacrificing her happiness for someday, maybe. And maybe later, wracked with guilt, she’d write Jack a letter she’d never send, explaining, apologizing….

Something broke in Sam then, releasing a tide of emotions that threatened to drown her. Maybe it was the alcohol or the star light or pure frustrated cussedness, but Sam parted her lips and returned Jennifer’s kiss with everything she had.

Jennifer made a little surprised sound, followed immediately by a pleased sound, and moved her hand to the back of Sam’s head. She pulled out the bobby pins and clips, dropping them to the ground, forgotten, and Sam’s hair tumbled down around her shoulders. Jennifer touched it lightly, twining a gold strand around one finger.

Sam slid a hand into Jennifer’s hair, cupped the back of her neck, and tugged her toward her. Jennifer surged forward, nearly knocking her chair over, and swung one leg over to straddle Sam. Sam shifted to adjust, and pain exploded in her injured leg. She breathed through it and Jennifer started to get up, face tight with concern, but Sam held her in place. “I’m alright,” she murmured into Jennifer’s hair. She dropped a kiss onto her temple. “Stay.”

Jennifer pushed Sam’s hair back, cupped her face in both hands, and kissed her fiercely. Sam slid her arms around Jennifer’s waist and pulled her down and close, pressing their breasts together. Sam could feel her nipples pebbling under her shirt from the friction, and a little frisson of pleasure ran through her.

Jennifer tilted Sam’s chin up with one finger and nipped at the spot below her ear, then trailed little nibbling kisses down Sam’s neck. Heat flared through her, hot and aching, and she thrummed with need. She leaned her head back to give Jennifer better access, and the other woman dropped a suckling little kiss on her pulse point. Sam let out a soft cry and decided to throw all caution to the wind. She unzipped Jennifer’s jacket and shoved it off of her shoulders. Skin. There needed to be more skin.

She wriggled out of her own jacket, and Jennifer skinned out of her t-shirt, tossing it away. Sam took a moment to admire the younger woman’s body--she was pale and pert and gorgeous, like a rare treat Sam never allowed herself to indulge in. She bent her head to press soft, open-mouthed kisses down Jennifer’s cleavage. She pushed one bra strap down and flicked her thumb across the now-exposed nipple. Jennifer cried out, and Sam did it again.

Jennifer canted her hips forward, rubbing against Sam’s lap. Sam encouraged her with a hand on one hip. She leaned forward and brought her mouth to Jennifer’s other breast. She bit down gently, then soothed the spot with the flat of her tongue. Jennifer moaned, deep and throaty, and ground her hips down against Sam again. Sam gripped her hip hard and continued her ministrations. Jennifer’s eyes closed and she tipped her head back, exposing the long line of her throat. Sam nipped at it, then slid her hand around Jennifer’s thigh and extended her thumb, rubbing it against her. Jennifer shifted her hips and shoved up against Sam’s thumb, gave a high-pitched cry, and then stilled.

Sam watched her, and shifted her own hips in an attempt to quell the aching need between her own legs. Jennifer’s eyes drifted open, and she gave Sam a lazy smile and a soft kiss on the lips. Then she grinned, a hot glint in her eyes now, and reached down to flick open the buttons on Sam’s trousers. She shifted back to give herself more room then slipped her hand down the front of Sam’s pants.

She rubbed her knuckles teasingly, but Sam was too close, too hot, too tight to play around anymore. “Please,” she gasped. Every nerve felt taut and ready to snap. Jennifer rotated her hand and and obliged, sliding two fingers into Sam. 

Electricity sizzled across her skin, arcing out from between her legs and dancing over every inch of her. She couldn’t suppress a grateful cry that turned long and low as Jennifer started pumping her fingers in and out. Sam bowed her head, resting her forehead on Jennifer’s shoulder, her breathing shallow and rapid. With her free hand Jennifer shoved Sam’s shirt up and out of the way and dipped her fingers into her bra, rolling one nipple between thumb and forefinger. Jennifer’s fingers were soft and strong, and she seemed to know just how hard to pinch.

“Yes, oh--” Sam moaned, rocking a little against Jennifer’s hand. So close… Just--

And then Jennifer arched her fingers up, pressed just _there _, and everything went white, pleasure coursing through Sam in sharp waves. She was dimly aware of breathy, high-pitched moans escaping her throat as Jennifer gentled her through it.__

__Once Sam regained her breath and her wits, she picked her head back up, and Jennifer withdrew her fingers. With the other hand, she brushed her fingers over Sam’s cheek and then kissed her lightly, a soft smile on her mouth._ _

__Sam cleared her throat, suddenly feeling awkward, and tugged her shirt back down. Jennifer tilted her head questioningly. Sam ran her hands over Jennifer’s thighs, then patted them and tried to figure out how to extract herself from the situation without making their working relationship strained. However mellow the afterglow from a spectacular orgasm (not that she’d had many recently against which to compare it), she was still technically Jennifer’s boss and this had probably been a mistake in any case._ _

__“Look, Jennifer,” she began._ _

__Jennifer’s hands covered Sam’s, stilling them. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “Whatever you want is fine. It can just be--it doesn’t have to mean anything.”_ _

__Relief flooded Sam, mixing with the glow of good sex to make her feel a little lightheaded for a moment. She rested her forehead against Jennifer’s for a moment, just breathing. Then she lifted her head again and said, “It’s not that it wasn’t--it was good.” She gave a little half laugh. “It was really, really good. It’s just…”_ _

__“I get it,” said Jennifer, and Sam could see on her face that she really did. Maybe Jennifer had her own myriad reasons for holding back, and maybe just the one for letting go._ _

__Jennifer swung her leg over Sam’s, then paused to inspect the injured one, ever the doctor. “Endorphins will be good for the healing process, you know.” She smirked a little, eyes full of mirth._ _

__Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that a prescription, doc?”_ _

__Jennifer’s smirk grew into a grin. “Sure, if you like. If you need a refill, you know where to find me.” She scooped her t-shirt off of the ground and pulled it back on. She gathered up her jacket, the empty beer cans, and the plastic rings, then stretched, yawned, and then said, “Sex always makes me sleepy. I’m gonna turn in. You want some help getting back in?”_ _

__Sam glanced over at her crutches, lying abandoned on the ground several feet away. “I think I can handle it.” She’d certainly handled worse injuries in the past, and that was without the pain-numbing chemicals running through her. “I’m going to stay out for a bit anyway.” She settled back in her chair._ _

__“Okay. Goodnight.” Jennifer moved toward the door, hesitating momentarily beside Sam. Then she dropped a light kiss onto the top of Sam’s head and went inside._ _

__Sam watched her go, then turned her attention back to the sky. She wouldn’t do this again, she told herself. Probably. Jennifer was a gorgeous girl; she wouldn’t lack for company if she wanted, especially once McKay was off the pain meds that put him to sleep. And as for Sam herself, well, she’d done alright on her own so far. And on the rare occasions when loneliness hit in sharp, aching pangs, well, maybe a drink with a friend would be okay. It was, after all, just what the doctor ordered._ _

__She smiled to herself, and watched those strange Pegasus stars. They would never spell home for her the way they did for some of her colleagues, but they were an excellent place to visit._ _


End file.
